Monday, September 8, 2008

Another Pregnant Friend...

Yes I am happy for her, but a few weeks ago, she was worried and said to me..."God I hope I'm not pregnant." I was there for her 100%, but I had a hard time relating to her. I understood her fear...she already has a child who just turned 1 and if she is pregnant, then she'll have two children under the age of 2! As it turns out, she is pregnant. She shared the news with me a few weeks after that conversation. As much as I rationalize in my head, I still couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy, because I know that she and her husband we not even trying.

My friends and family try hard to understand, but this is the first time in my life where I am learning, that no matter how hard they try…they just don’t get it. It’s not their fault, it’s just one of those situations where you have to experience it to truly know what is going on in my heart and my head. The advice that people give me sounds rash and harsh, while at the same time I know they are simply trying to be comforting. What they don’t understand is that in their attempt to comfort me, their statements are riddled with conclusions…Have you thought about adoption? Have you considered surrogacy? (You’re assuming I can’t get pregnant!) When talking about IVF, I share that I am extremely nervous about having twins…they never ask me why that makes me so scared, they ALL respond with this: “At least you will get it all over with at once!” Is that supposed to be comforting? Hello! I have never been pregnant! Oh and by the way, I’m not having kids to get it over with!

So this is the reason for my blog. I would like to connect with others who are going through the same experience. I hope not only to help others, but to learn from them as well.


Leslie Laine said...

Hi Jill - thanks for your comment on my blog. I can soooo relate to everything you said in this first post - it's exactly how I feel, and I've had the exact same questions. (I especially hate that "have you thought about adopting?" question).

Welcome to the blogging world - it's been tremendously therapeutic for me, and I hope you'll find it helpful and supportive. I feel that I finally have people in my life who really get it.

I'm going to add you to my blogroll, so I'll be following along. Take care -


LANIE said...

I read your blog, alot of the things you say are exactly how I have felt. Family doesn't understand. And I hate it when people say "well at least you have your health" like that makes you feel any just want a child, that's all, I don't think that's too much to ask..

cmae said...

I share your concern over having multiples. It's the sole reason why my man is uncomfortable with medical intervention. Will you write a post about your experiences so far? Share your story?

I Believe in Miracles said...

Hi Jill -- welcome to the blogger world. I see you're following my blog. I hope that you can dig deep into our IF community. It has been tremendously helpful for me.